Things You Need to Know About Guacamole

Did you know that guacamole was invented in the 1300s?  Learn more about this delish food from this list of The Top Things You Need to Know About Guacamole.


  • It was created by the Aztecs . . . and look what happened to them.
  • Sometimes it’s eaten, sometimes it’s used to simulate vomit in low-budget movies.
  • Guacamole is a good source of vitamins, fiber, and, if you get it at Chipotle, listeria.
  • People who refer to it as “guac” are usually named Chad.
  • Some people like to add garlic to their guacamole.  It adds flavor, and it keeps Rudy Giuliani away.
  • Instead of making it himself, Jerry Falwell Jr. prefers just to watch.
  • Before it was identified as a fruit, the avocado was mostly used as a weapon in hand-to-hand combat.
  • Eating it is one of the least-racist things Americans do on Cinco de Mayo.
  • It should only cost extra if you ORDER extra, dammit!!!