Reasons You Really Need to Buy an iPhone 12

Apple announced their four new iPhone 12 models yesterday.  Find out why you need to quickly place your order with this list of The Top Reasons You Really Need to Buy an iPhone 12.

  • It has the highest-resolution camera yet, so you can take pictures of yourself and then make them look totally unrealistic with Instagram filters.

  • It lets everyone else on the bus know you’re better than them.

  • Your genitals deserve the best camera technology has to offer.

  • It contains a special feature that allows you to look down on all those iPhone 11 peons.

  • If you buy one, an 11-year-old iPhone assembly worker in China may get a pay increase of 20 cents a day!

  • It has 5G.  And you currently own a 3G.  Which is an improvement of, like, um . . . a lot of Gs.

  • You want to have even more apps you’ll never get around to using.

  • You’re superstitious, so you plan to skip the iPhone 13.

  • It’s pretty affordable.  It’ll only cost you an arm OR a leg.