Things You Shouldn’t Do While Shopping

Are you planning on hitting a store this weekend?  If so, please don’t do any of these things:

  

  • Stand in the checkout line with your phone to your ear and yell, “It came back POSITIVE???”
  • Loudly yell, “Where are the extra-large sized condoms!”
  • Grab a 48-pack of toilet paper and a 5-gallon bottle of taco sauce and wheel it around the store telling people, “It’s gonna be an interesting night!”
  • Eat more than your fair share at the sample table.  That’s what your pockets are for!
  • With a mask over your butt, stand next to people and fart, and say, “Don’t worry, it’s covered.”
  • Spread cat litter on the floor so you can personally “test” it.