Things You’d Rather Do than Eat Kale

In honor of today being National Kale Day, let’s check out this list of The Top Things You’d Rather Do than Eat Kale.


  • Sit in a room alone with an annoying vegan lecturing you about why you should be eating kale.
  • Sit through a Jets-Giants game.
  • Three words:  Adam Sandler Marathon.
  • Do Donald Trump’s hair and makeup . . . with neither of you wearing a mask!
  • Have a lengthy chat with Joe Biden about what things cost when he was growing up in Scranton.
  • Replace your entire iTunes library with remixes of Vin Diesel’s new single.
  • Get a prostate exam from Freddy Krueger.
  • Give Attorney General Bill Barr a sponge bath.