Today is National Lobster Day, so it’s the perfect time for this list of The Top Things Lobsters Would Say If They Could Talk.
- We’re not stupid . . . we know that’s not a hot tub.
- At least I don’t have an STD named after me. Right, crabs?
- How would you feel if they put a picture of you outside a restaurant called “Red Human???”
- With a side of melted butter, even I will eat myself.
- I avoid pot. Too many of my friends died in one.
- I’d love to meet new people, but it’s hard for me to come out of my shell.
- Got an invitation to a clambake . . . think it might be a trap!
- Just so you know, we’re not all money hungry like Mr. Krabs on “SpongeBob”.