Reasons You Didn’t Watch the “MTV Video Music Awards”

The “MTV Video Music Awards” went down last night.  But you couldn’t care less.  Here are The Top Reasons You Didn’t Watch the “MTV Video Music Awards”.


  • You think a “Doja Cat” is something Carole Baskin fed her husband to.
  • You find it hypocritical for MTV to pretend it cares about music once a year.
  • You haven’t watched MTV since before Billie Eilish was born.
  • All you want to see Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande do together is kiss.
  • You’re Jerry Falwell Jr. and the only thing you’ll watch is your wife doing the pool boy.
  • When you saw the Black Eyed Peas were performing, you assumed it was a rerun from 2008.
  • They completely ignored Lee Greenwood again?  Screw those Commies!
  • Sunday nights are spread-COVID-at-mass-gathering nights.
  • You had a sneaking suspicion the winners were going to do something crazy, and use their acceptance speeches to make self-righteous political statements.
  • You’re over 25.