Dog Tweets

Since today is National Dog Day, we wondered what our canine friends might do if they were on Twitter.  Here are The Top Dog Tweets.



  • Retweet if you awoke from a sudden nap at the vet to find your nuts missing.
  • Not to complain, but ever since you went vegan, your table scraps SUCK.
  • You’re watching “Marley and Me” again?  Don’t you realize that for us, it’s a snuff film???
  • Just because you watch me take dumps doesn’t mean I want to do the same. #CloseTheDoor
  • So many buttholes to sniff, so little time.
  • Quietly watching from the corner while people have sex?  You got that from us, didn’t you, Jerry Falwell Jr.?
  • Mock us for eating poop.  At least it’s not Chipotle.
  • I just joined Twitter, and somehow, I’m already feuding with Nicki Minaj.
  • Cats.  Squirrels.  Mailmen.  Bob Barker.  #BurnInHell
  • Stop blaming us for your farts.  #JusticeForRover
  • Why would anyone want to go on a walk, when they can stay home and spend the afternoon licking their junk?

  • It’s Wednesday, better known as Leg Hump Day!
  • Today was “ruff.”  LOL!
  • I came, I sniffed, I peed on it.