Since today is National Dog Day, we wondered what our canine friends might do if they were on Twitter. Here are The Top Dog Tweets.
- Retweet if you awoke from a sudden nap at the vet to find your nuts missing.
- Not to complain, but ever since you went vegan, your table scraps SUCK.
- You’re watching “Marley and Me” again? Don’t you realize that for us, it’s a snuff film???
- Just because you watch me take dumps doesn’t mean I want to do the same. #CloseTheDoor
- So many buttholes to sniff, so little time.
- Quietly watching from the corner while people have sex? You got that from us, didn’t you, Jerry Falwell Jr.?
- Mock us for eating poop. At least it’s not Chipotle.
- I just joined Twitter, and somehow, I’m already feuding with Nicki Minaj.
- Cats. Squirrels. Mailmen. Bob Barker. #BurnInHell
- Stop blaming us for your farts. #JusticeForRover
Why would anyone want to go on a walk, when they can stay home and spend the afternoon licking their junk?
- It’s Wednesday, better known as Leg Hump Day!
- Today was “ruff.” LOL!
- I came, I sniffed, I peed on it.