Reasons Not to Go to College

Most people agree that you’re more likely to be successful in life if you have a college degree.  But college isn’t for everyone.  Here are The Top Reasons Not to Go to College.


  • If people can make GUNS with printers, surely you can make a degree.
  • You’re done with classrooms after eight years of high school.
  • Have you seen what a moderately attractive stripper can make in a single night???
  • Why bother writing a well-researched dissertation when you can become the utmost authority on anything by watching YouTube.
  • It’s now possible to get a job that pays $7.50 an hour WITHOUT incurring tens of thousands of dollars in crippling debt.
  • You’re triggered by corduroy blazers with elbow patches.
  • Contrary to what the movies say, sorority girls do NOT leave their windows wide open when they have lingerie pillow fights.
  • You don’t need professors to force their liberal opinions on you when you have Twitter.
  • That’s four years of your life you could be binge-watching Netflix.
  • You can’t major in Beer Pong.
  • Your last IQ test came back negative.
  • Readin’ ‘n writin’ am hard.