Shark Fun “Facts”

It’s the Discovery Channel’s annual Shark Week.  So please enjoy this list of The Top Shark Fun Facts.

  

  • They’re nowhere near as vicious as the average millennial on Twitter.
  • They mistake surfboards for seals.  And surfers for people with real jobs.
  • The shark with the most teeth is the bull shark.  The shark with the least amount of teeth is the meth-mouth shark.
  • Sharks that are eight years old giggle nonstop after hearing the words “sperm whale.”
  • Most blue sharks have prescriptions for Zoloft.
  • They are annoyed that they can’t order seals on Grubhub.
  • Great white sharks kill fewer people than the band Great White
  • Even though they’ll eat anything, even THEY avoid Applebee’s.
  • Most sharks have excellent eyesight.  Which is why not one shark has ever refereed an NFL game.
  • Female sharks are larger than male sharks, but the male sharks are careful not to body shame them.
  • Bull sharks have the strongest bite.  But even they struggle with opening a bag of kettle chips.
  • Sharks don’t ever sleep.  Unless, of course, someone tries to make them sit through a baseball game.
  • They used to be bigger than buildings, but then they went on the same diet as Adele.