Going grocery shopping should be a pleasant and uneventful chore. But that wouldn’t be the case if you experience anything like you’ll find on this list of The Top Things You Don’t Want to Hear in a Grocery Store.
- The 15-items-or-less line is to your left . . . Nazis only to the right.
- Clean up on aisle four . . . all the way to the bathroom.
- Due to the coin shortage, will you accept your change in day-old soup?
- Check it out! I got a head of lettuce for 50 cents! Sure, it’s because that lady coughed on it, but what a deal!
- No, we got rid of our meat section, we’re all vegan now!
- I’m sorry, but what you’re doing to those melons is technically against the law.
- No ma’am, that’s not a carton of rotten eggs you smell . . . it’s my IBS.
- Stay six feet away . . . from the Oreos, fatty!
- We don’t shower the produce here, so I’m not exactly sure why that’s wet.
- Sir, I’m going to need to get a price check on this hemorrhoid cream. Just hold on while I grab the intercom . . .
- We’re out of toilet paper, but there’s a sale on kitty litter.