Signs You Don’t Know American History.
- You believe this country was founded on life, liberty, and the pursuit of sassiness.
- You say the Louisiana Purchase was only made after it was listed on Zillow.
- You think the Donner Party survived thanks to the Domino’s app.
- When someone told you the plot of the movie “Pearl Harbor” you were like, “Dude, spoiler alert!!!”
- You believe Charles Lindbergh was the first man on the Moon. And Neil Armstrong was an African-American jazz singer.
- You think the First Continental Congress invented the Continental breakfast.
- You wonder why the actual Alexander Hamilton never released a hip-hop album.
- You think the Great Depression could have been prevented with Zoloft.
- You insist the “B” in Susan B. Anthony stands for “Beyoncé.”
- You were genuinely surprised to learn that women had the right to vote.
- You think Orville and Wilbur Wright made a delicious microwavable popcorn.
- Most of your knowledge comes from “We Didn’t Start The Fire”.
- You think Washington, D.C. is named after Denzel.
- Your reaction to the Lincoln Memorial is, “Whoa! He was GINORMOUS!”