Signs You Don’t Know American History.

You believe this country was founded on life, liberty, and the pursuit of sassiness.
You say the Louisiana Purchase was only made after it was listed on Zillow.
You think the Donner Party survived thanks to the Domino’s app.
When someone told you the plot of the movie “Pearl Harbor” you were like, “Dude, spoiler alert!!!”
You believe Charles Lindbergh was the first man on the Moon. And Neil Armstrong was an African-American jazz singer.
You think the First Continental Congress invented the Continental breakfast.
You wonder why the actual Alexander Hamilton never released a hip-hop album.
You think the Great Depression could have been prevented with Zoloft.
You insist the “B” in Susan B. Anthony stands for “Beyoncé.”
You were genuinely surprised to learn that women had the right to vote.
You think Orville and Wilbur Wright made a delicious microwavable popcorn.
Most of your knowledge comes from “We Didn’t Start The Fire”.
You think Washington, D.C. is named after Denzel.
Your reaction to the Lincoln Memorial is, “Whoa! He was GINORMOUS!”