Cool “Facts” About the Moon

Today is National Moon Day, so it’s a good time to check out this list of The Top Cool Facts About the Moon.


  • It’s so old it has no idea what a TikTok is.
  • It’s where Nick Cannon needs to move to avoid dirty looks.
  • It has as much gravity and atmosphere as an Adam Sandler movie.
  • Unlike Kanye’s ego, it’s nowhere near the size of the Earth.
  • The president says the only reason there are no corona cases up there is because they’re not testing.
  • The Moon is slowly drifting away from the Earth, just like you do when a family member says something racist.
  • It’s riddled with craters, crevices, and divots.  Sorry.  That’s an amazing fact about your butt cheeks.
  • The dark side doesn’t exist . . . except in the tapestry on the wall of almost every college freshman’s dorm in America.
  • When the Moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie . . . you are having a bad trip.
  • It looks incredible through a telescope.  Like your hot neighbor in the shower.
  • Only 12 people have walked on the Moon, none of them actually affiliated with MTV.