Questions to Ask Yourself Before Buying a House

Buying a home is the biggest financial decision most people will make in their lifetime.  Which is why you should first check out this list of The Top Questions to Ask Yourself Before Buying a House.


  • Does it have granite countertops so I can be the envy of every white woman on HGTV? 
  • Does it have a secret entrance to a cave where I can put on a bat suit to fight crime?
  • Are the ceiling joists strong enough to hold a sex swing?
  • Does it have a fireplace so I can tell my kids Santa burned to death?
  • Is it a red flag that my credit report just says, “Yeah, right!?”
  • Should I be suspicious of my realtor since he asked me for a “safe word?”
  • Why is my wife insisting on having a pool . . . and a pool boy?
  • Is it or is it not haunted by the widow of an insane 19th century surgeon?
  • Does it have a panic room suitable for the rest of 2020?