Fascinating “Facts” About the Founding Fathers

George Washington said he couldn’t lie, but everyone who saw his Tinder profile knew better.
Benjamin Franklin was the inventor of the gimp mask.
Contrary to current belief, none of them were successful rappers.
They all giggled like eight-year-old boys every time someone said “John Hancock.”
James Madison proposed that congressional pay be tied to the price of wheat. Now it’s determined by fossil fuel lobbyists.
Ironically, none of these guys ever had a particularly comfortable mattress.
George Washington wanted to be remembered by a giant phallic symbol.
Many Americans don’t care about them because they weren’t revealed as fathers on “Maury”.
They added the Second Amendment to the Constitution so that Americans would always have something to fight about.
The only thing Ben Franklin spent more time in than the library was prostitutes.
George Washington copied his ponytail from Steven Seagal.
Thomas Jefferson made the Louisiana Purchase with bitcoin.