Tips for Taking a Family Road Trip

With more of the country reopening, some families are planning a road trip.  We can help make that a success with this list of The Top Tips for Taking a Family Road Trip.



  • Plan some stimulating topics for the family to discuss in the three minutes before the kids put in their ear buds.
  • Pack a cooler . . . just not the one you use for organ harvesting.
  • Try to select a music playlist that everyone will agree on . . . even though it doesn’t exist.
  • Bring books so your wife will be distracted as you ogle women at the pool.
  • Make sure you leave room in the trunk for the kid who won’t stop whining, “Are we there yet?”
  • Keep the kids busy in the hotel room by offering $10 to the one who collects the most bedbugs.
  • Visit a National Park.  Who knows?  A bear may eat your mother-in-law.
  • Take TONS of photos since your friends are infatuated with bird life of the Great Plains.
  • Allow for a pullover at every single rest stop along the way because somebody ALWAYS has to pee.
  • While the kids are immersed in their iPads, it’s a good time to discuss the separation.
  • If a cop pulls you over, hand your bag of weed to your least favorite child.
  • To get the kids to sleep, put on your favorite podcast.