Excuses for Excuses for Not Wearing a Face MaskNot Wearing a Face Mask

Health officials say wearing a face mask will greatly help reduce the spread of COVID-19, yet many people are not wearing them.  We have some of their reasons on this list of The Top Excuses for Not Wearing a Face Mask.


  • You believe in your God-given right to spread infectious diseases to whomever you please.
  • How are you supposed to flirt with people if they can’t even see your tongue?
  • The cape and boots should be enough to make you look like a superhero.
  • You already have something that protects you from others called “your personality.”
  • When you’re at a store, it’s hard to fight the urge to demand all the money in the cash register and run off.
  • The quicker grandma dies . . . the quicker you get your inheritance.
  • You want to try one of those cool new ventilators at the hospital.
  • You’re tired of constantly having to remove your mask to take your 5,000 daily selfies.
  • If people can’t see your frown, how will they know you’re a miserable bastard?
  • It’s, like, way inconvenient to lift it every time you need to vape, bro.
  • You won’t obey an order to wear a mask unless it comes from your dominatrix.
  • Nobody’s made one with your favorite anime character on it yet.
  • It makes it hard to use the breathalyzer that starts your car.