Things You Don’t Want to Hear on a Father’s Day Zoom Call


  • Dad, we can see you doing that!
  • Why is your virtual background a picture of the Hindenburg Disaster?
  • We can still hear the farts even if we can’t smell them
  • Can we please stop arguing over who’s more at-risk?
  • Dad, PLEASE put some clothes on
  • Well, at least I can’t smell the bourbon through the internet
  • You’re alone in a room, dad; you don’t have to wear a mask
  • Covid!? When I was your age, we had smallpox-and we LIKED it!
  • Dad, I got you a ventilator, just in case