Things You Don’t Want to Hear from an Extraterrestrial

According to British scientists dozens of intelligent alien lifeforms could be currently living in our very own galaxy.  The only problem?  The average distance of these civilizations would be around 17,000 light-years away making it pretty tough to get in contact with them. 


  • Don’t you guys have some other planet you can go to?
  • Pardon us-are you edible?
  • You never sent more Chuck Berry, so now we’re going to kill you
  • Let’s get down to some anal probing!
  • Which one of you authorized the alien autopsies?
  • Don’t make us do to you what we did to your dinosaurs
  • We’re not going to let that punk Will Smith stop us this time
  • Do you choose death or bunga-bunga?
  • We’re going to need all of the Reese’s Pieces you’ve got
  • We’re here to rescue our leader, Gary Busey
  • Wait, what do you mean, Captain Kirk isn’t real?
  • Are you the jerks who keep trying to contact us?