Things You Don’t Want to Hear From Your Parents

Parents rarely hold back on sharing what’s on their mind with their kids.  And that’s not always a good thing.  Here are The Top Things You Don’t Want to Hear From Your Parents.


  • Well, I better get to work . . . this cocaine isn’t going to sell itself!
  • Here’s what I REALLY think about NASCAR’s Confederate flag ban.
  • We tried selling you when you were three . . . but unfortunately, we didn’t get any takers.
  • Sorry son, you can’t move into our basement . . . there’s no room with my meth lab down there.
  • I feel so liberated when I’m wearing your mom’s underwear.
  • Family meeting!  In the bathtub! 
  • Hey kids, we’ll be back late.  We’re going out for dinner and an orgy.
  • I don’t know why you only have seven toes.  Maybe you should ask your mother-slash-aunt.
  • Let’s watch this old home video . . . of your conception.
  • Let’s talk politics.