Questions to Ask Yourself Before Buying a New Computer

Are you in the market for a new computer?  If so, first take a minute and check out this list of The Top Questions to Ask Yourself Before Buying a New Computer.


  • How long should I let the little beach ball spin before I fling my computer out the window?
  • Should I get it at Best Buy . . . or from a guy who looted a Best Buy?
  • If I live in my parents’ basement, am I required to cover my laptop in skateboarding stickers?
  • Wouldn’t it be cheaper to surf porn at the library?
  • Is it technologically advanced enough to mask the fact that my iTunes library contains nothing but Chumbawamba remixes?
  • As a principled U.S. consumer, shouldn’t I protest Apple’s use
  • of child labor?  Kidding!  Totally getting it!
  • Should I spend $1,000 for a laptop . . . or spend $1,000 on lap dances?
  • Does it fold easily so I can take it with me when I’m finally free to leave the house in the year 2091?
  • Will it give me cred with the other wannabe screenwriters sitting all day in Starbucks?
  • We’re getting more stimulus checks, right?