Signs You’re at a Bad Zoo

Zoos in some parts of the country are reopening.  And that’s good news as long as it doesn’t suck.  Here are The Top Signs You’re at a Bad Zoo.

  • None of the pandas know kung fu.

  • Half the cages contain looters that were just busted.

  • There’s a section reserved for women who want to feed their husbands to Carole Baskin’s tigers.

  • The sign in front reads “Zoo/Taxidermy.”

  • The worker telling you that there are no more alligators . . . is wearing a pair of new alligator boots.

  • It’s just a guy in a van with 14 lizards.

  • The monkeys fling poo at you . . . as do the employees.

  • You can’t see the rhinos until Ted Nugent is done shooting at them.

  • The kangaroo doesn’t tap dance or box!