Reasons You Haven’t Joined Twitter
Twitter has over 330 million global monthly users . . . but you aren’t one of them. Your excuse might be found here on this list of The Top Reasons You Haven’t Joined Twitter.
- It’s a stupid act that you’ll inevitably regret. Like marriage.
- It takes way too long to type out a tweet on your TracFone.
- The same reason you rarely speak up in life. Nobody cares what you have to say.
- You’re allergic to insane conspiracy theories.
- You prefer that your online exchanges with strangers not result in your blood pressure spiking by 100 points.
- It simply regurgitates misinformation, childish insults, and spite. And you can get that from our president.
- You no be goodly wit words n’nat.
- You think the toilet should be reserved for pooping and Facebook.
- It would just be too painful to get blocked by Scott Baio.
- Your thoughts are too awesome to limit to 280 characters.
- You’re worried that you’ll post a joke and 10 years from now it will get you “canceled.”
- No matter what you tweet, all anyone reads is “ME! ME! ME!!”
- You prefer communicating through interpretative dance.