Many people are attempting DIY projects during the pandemic. We can help with this list of The Top Home Improvement Tips.
- Never buy a toilet until you’ve tried the floor sample.
- Replace all electrical devices in your sex dungeon with newer, more energy-efficient models.
- Just to mess with your guests, get bathroom wallpaper that’s just a bunch of people staring at them.
- Hire a divorce attorney. Getting rid of your spouse is the biggest home improvement you can make.
- Install a farm sink in your open concept kitchen before the other soccer moms think you’re some kind of loose cannon.
- Layer your lighting choices for different options, from dim enough that your spouse looks good to bright enough that you’re married to a hideous beast.
- An outdoor kitchen is great for summertime family gatherings and will also prepare you for eventually living on the street.
- Buy a stepladder. It’s useful for many household tasks, plus it gives you a better vantage point when you peek through your window to look at your hot neighbor sunbathing in the nude.
- Don’t ask your wife for permission to turn the spare bedroom into a bobblehead museum. Trust me: she’ll love it!
- Get a stud finder. The hardware tool . . . not the Grindr app.
- Choose a tasty wood so the termites give you a decent Yelp review.