Ways to Liven Up a Virtual Commencement Speech

 

  • Announce to the graduating class that you’re not wearing underwear – or pants
  • Deliver speech using a foul-mouthed ventriloquist’s dummy
  • Challenge class valedictorian to a Ghost Pepper challenge
  • Do a shot every time you say the word “future”
  • Casually refer to graduates as “beyotches and ho-bags”
  • Replace traditional “Pomp and Circumstance” with “Sister Christian” by Night Ranger
  • Pull out your 80s-era Jack Nicholson impersonation
  • Remember, everything you say sounds hilarious when you inhale helium
  • Close with lavish Bollywood dance number
  • Beatbox!