Signs You’re Not a Good Cook

Many Americans are cooking more at home during the pandemic.  Buy that’s not always a good thing.  Here are The Top Signs You’re Not a Good Cook.



  • When people poke your Jell-O salad, it pokes back.
  • Guy Fieri features you on his new show, “Diners, Drive-Ins and Disasters”.
  • Your meatloaf was once featured on TV.  In an episode of “The Twilight Zone”.
  • Your family prays before dinner.  And they’re atheists.
  • The CDC had to issue a warning that your cooking is more dangerous than the coronavirus.
  • You say that your biscuits are “made from scratch.”  But more accurately, they’re made from things on you that you’ve scratched.
  • You learned how to prepare food from a Chinese wet market.
  • You once got a bad Yelp review from a cockroach.
  • Your cooking straddles the line between “sustenance” and “attempted murder.”
  • Even the garbage disposal won’t swallow it.
  • If, God forbid, your kids ever have to get used to prison food, it shouldn’t be too hard.
  • People who ate your meals started a survivor page on Facebook.
  • You’re always excused from bringing anything to a potluck.
  • You’ve dedicated your life to one day making roast beef with the same impeccable quality as Arby’s.
  • Your motto is:  “It’s not ready until the smoke alarm goes off.”