Signs You’ve Hired a Bad Easter Bunny

His bunny costume is full of cigarette burns
Informs you that he based his “character” on Brando’s performance in Apocalypse Now
Stares down at his phone the entire time
Tells the kids if they want Peeps they have to “reach deep down into his pocket”
Along with candy, he hands out a pamphlet about adult-onset diabetes
Smells a little like a rabbit hutch
His basket is filled with Slim Jims and miniature bottles of vodka
Sneaks into your house and hides eggs in your lingerie drawer
Shows up for work the Monday after Easter
Keeps shouting “Ho! Ho! Ho!”
He’s willing to put on a costume and come to hour house during pandemic