Signs You’ve Hired a Bad Easter Bunny

 

  • His bunny costume is full of cigarette burns
  • Informs you that he based his “character” on Brando’s performance in Apocalypse Now
  • Stares down at his phone the entire time
  • Tells the kids if they want Peeps they have to “reach deep down into his pocket”
  • Along with candy, he hands out a pamphlet about adult-onset diabetes
  • Smells a little like a rabbit hutch
  • His basket is filled with Slim Jims and miniature bottles of vodka
  • Sneaks into your house and hides eggs in your lingerie drawer
  • Shows up for work the Monday after Easter
  • Keeps shouting “Ho! Ho! Ho!”
  • He’s willing to put on a costume and come to hour house during pandemic