Things You Don’t Want to Hear on a Zoom Conference

 

  • ”I just realized I’ve slept with half of the people on this screen”
  • Can you guys hold that thought…I had chili for lunch”
  • “How do I mute this mic before I say something I’ll really regret?
  • “While we’re waiting for the others to join the conference, who wants to hear a Polish joke?”
  • “How long is this going to take? Pornhub is offering free premium!”
  • “Hey, can I get Quibi on this thing?”
  • “Let me tilt the camera down a bit…Mr. Happy wants to join the conference”
  • “For the love of God, does anyone within the sound of my voice have any toilet paper?”
  • “The hell with our fiscal quarter…who’s watching Tiger King?