Things You Didn’t Know About Twinkies

Today is National Twinkie Day.  So it’s a good time to check out this list of The Top Things You

Didn’t Know About Twinkies.

 

 

  • Twinkies have a shelf life of 25 days.  Like your marriage during quarantine.
  • The holder of the world Twinkie-eating record is . . . severely depressed.
  • Twinkies were once filled with banana cream.  And during the disco era:  cocaine.
  • Expired Twinkies make great dishwashing sponges.
  • Twinkies aren’t vegan because they are made with beef fat.  So be sure to bring that up as you devour a few Twinkies in front of your vegan friends.
  • If you let one sit out long enough, it makes an excellent sex toy.
  • Twinkies are so bad for your health, they make cigarettes wince.
  • A Twinkie was once sent into orbit, to plug a hole in the International Space Station.
  • The name was inspired by “Twinkle Toe Shoes,” which is ironic, since eating too many Twinkies makes it impossible to see your toes.
  • A Twinkie contains so many artificial ingredients, it was made an honorary Kardashian.
  • Twinkies are made from industrial chemicals, preservatives, and petroleum.  But other than that, they’re TOTALLY natural!
  • Twinkies have the look and texture of a Nerf football.  But taste worse.