Today is National Twinkie Day. So it’s a good time to check out this list of The Top Things You
Didn’t Know About Twinkies.
- Twinkies have a shelf life of 25 days. Like your marriage during quarantine.
- The holder of the world Twinkie-eating record is . . . severely depressed.
- Twinkies were once filled with banana cream. And during the disco era: cocaine.
- Expired Twinkies make great dishwashing sponges.
- Twinkies aren’t vegan because they are made with beef fat. So be sure to bring that up as you devour a few Twinkies in front of your vegan friends.
- If you let one sit out long enough, it makes an excellent sex toy.
- Twinkies are so bad for your health, they make cigarettes wince.
- A Twinkie was once sent into orbit, to plug a hole in the International Space Station.
- The name was inspired by “Twinkle Toe Shoes,” which is ironic, since eating too many Twinkies makes it impossible to see your toes.
- A Twinkie contains so many artificial ingredients, it was made an honorary Kardashian.
- Twinkies are made from industrial chemicals, preservatives, and petroleum. But other than that, they’re TOTALLY natural!
- Twinkies have the look and texture of a Nerf football. But taste worse.