Signs You’re Probably Too Old to Pose for Playboy

Suzanne Somers recently proposed a titillating idea for how to celebrate her upcoming 75th birthday: Appear naked in Playboy magazine, preferably shot by respected photographer Annie Leibovitz. Unfortunately for the former Three’s Company actress, the nudie mag was shuttered two weeks ago over declining sales and coronavirus concerns – although its online edition is still up and running.


  • The photographer has to shoot around your walker
  • One of your “turn-ons” is “men who can drive at night”
  • You keep putting your clothes back on because the studio is “chilly”
  • You’re only posing for Playboy because AARP Magazine didn’t ask
  • You tossed your hair back and dislocated a hip
  • You insist the shoot be finished by 4pm so you can make the early bird special
  • You’re wearing a see-through Teddy and orthopedic sneakers
  • You’re part of a special layout called “Girls of the Great Depression”
  • You keep demanding to speak to “Hef”