Saint Patrick’s Day Fun “Facts”

In honor of today being St. Patrick’s Day, please enjoy this list of The Top St. Patrick’s Day Fun Facts.

 

 

  • Saint Patrick used a shamrock to demonstrate the Holy Trinity . . . but only after determining he couldn’t smoke it.
  • If you don’t wear green today, you’ll get pinched.  Unless you also have a cough.  Then rest assured, folks will leave you alone. 
  • Every year, the Chicago River is dyed green, as opposed to its natural color:  Rust.
  • The first St. Patrick’s Day celebration in the U.S. was held in Boston, because the accents are equally annoying.
  • If someone’s not wearing green, you can either pinch them or lecture them on social distancing. 
  • It’s celebrated all over the world . . . like J-Lo’s butt.
  • St. Patrick’s Day is also known as “The Day of the Festival of Patrick” . . . by people who enjoy things that are needlessly wordy.
  • If you find a four-leaf clover today:  WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE?!?  SELF-ISOLATE, IDIOT!!  WE’RE ALL GONNNA DIE!!!
  • Today celebrates the day Christianity arrived in Ireland in the year 432.  And left when it got sick of Bono’s preachiness.
  • Traditionally people eat corned beef and cabbage on St. Patrick’s Day.  Except for this year, when it’s the kidney beans and chocolate hummus that were the only things at the supermarket not cleaned out by panic buyers.
  • The Shamrock Shake is just a vanilla shake with mold.
  • This year, it will not be any fun.  
  • No matter how good you think it is, your Irish accent sucks.