Signs You’re Watching a Bad Super Bowl Halftime Show

 

  • It’s being produced from prison by Phil Spector
  • The theme is “The Wonderful World of Recycling”
  • It features clog dancing AND mixed martial arts
  • It’s called “10,000 Kazoos” but you count fewer than 800
  • Madonna does the entire show from a Craftmatic adjustable bed
  • The headliner is Flo from Progressive
  • The performance draws a penalty for “unnecessary suckiness”
  • It’s a hologram of Neil Diamond, who’s still alive, by the way
  • Crowd expecting Jennifer Lopez forced to settle for George Lopez
  • Three words: Mimes on Ice!