Excuses for Not Working Out

Getting exercise is a top New Year’s resolution for a lot of people.  But sadly, that won’t become a reality for many of us.  Here are The Top Excuses for Not Working Out.


  • You haven’t found an exercise regimen yet that includes bacon.
  • Being out of shape will keep you from being drafted into the war against Iran.
  • Pete Davidson doesn’t exercise, and look at the chicks HE scores.
  • You’re in a loveless marriage.  So why do anything that prolongs your life?
  • You THINK about working out . . . isn’t that enough???
  • Diabetics save money on shoes.
  • You don’t like to sweat unless it’s from eating atomic Buffalo wings.
  • Your New Year’s resolution is to stop being so darn hot.
  • You spent a lot of time coming up with clever nicknames for all your neck rolls.
  • Who needs muscles when you can concealed carry?
  • They only have juice bars at gyms . . . not gin and juice bars.
  • You have a serious condition.  It’s called Hyper Couch Potatosis.
  • If you get in shape, then you’ll have to blame your lack of sex on your personality.
  • You majored in musical theater.  Oh, sorry.  That’s a Top Excuse for Just Not WORKING.