Complaints of Madonna’s 25-Year-Old Boyfriend

 

  • Constantly have to refrain from saying “OK, Boomer!”
  • Sick of eating at the Applebee’s “early bird” buffet
  • Hates being the one to keep track of her meds
  • People always telling him how sweet his Nana is
  • Being told after sex, “You’re no Sean Penn”
  • Can’t think of a single flattering thing to say about “Who’s That Girl?”
  • Always have to show her how to work her iPhone
  • 3 words: step-in bathtub
  • No lovemaking when her lumbago is acting up!
  • Resents being referred to as “the Material boy”