Signs You’d Make a Bad Mall Santa  

 

  • When you say “Ho! Ho! Ho!” it sounds really dirty

  • The kiddies have to understand that Santa’s gotta vape!

  • Fake white beard doesn’t cover jailhouse tattoos

  • Two words: Weak bladder

  • You’re just in this to meet hot Moms

  • You can’t stop ranting about the evils of consumerism

  • Two more words: Uncontrollable flatulence

  • You’re wearing nipple clamps under the suit

  • You reek of candy canes and Wild Turkey

  • You have a strict “no photography” policy