Signs Your Wife Is Having an Affair with Santa

 

  • She’s suddenly getting a lot of unexplained presents

  • Her breath reeks of eggnog

  • She’s a little TOO merry, if you know what I mean

  • He calls her “Vixen”

  • Left a LOT of cookies by the fireplace this year

  • She has “other plans” on Christmas Eve

  • The stockings she’s hung come from Victoria’s Secret

  • Random elves seem to recognize her

  • There are long white beard hairs on her pillow

  • What’s with all these calls to the North Pole?

  • During sex, she called you “Kris”