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This is the first you’re realizing that it was Thanksgiving
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Three words: Food Poisoning Hotline
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Your family is still trying to raise your bail
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You went to the Macy’s parade and got knocked unconscious by a runaway SpongeBob balloon
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You’ll forever be known as “the guy who barfed all over nana”
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You ate so much you went blind for 40 minutes
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It looks like you’re going to be on an upcoming episode of Cops
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You wound up in the ER with a second-degree gravy burn
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You have some vague drunken memories of acting out that scene from American Pie
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You learned what causes a pressure cooker to explode