Signs You Had a Bad Thanksgiving

 

  • This is the first you’re realizing that it was Thanksgiving

  • Three words: Food Poisoning Hotline

  • Your family is still trying to raise your bail

  • You went to the Macy’s parade and got knocked unconscious by a runaway SpongeBob balloon

  • You’ll forever be known as “the guy who barfed all over nana”

  • You ate so much you went blind for 40 minutes

  • It looks like you’re going to be on an upcoming episode of Cops

  • You wound up in the ER with a second-degree gravy burn

  • You have some vague drunken memories of acting out that scene from American Pie

  • You learned what causes a pressure cooker to explode