Things You REALLY Don’t Want to Hear at Thanksgiving

  • Hey, save some of these stories for when Uncle Jim sobers up!

  • Ugh. Who brought this weird-smelling yellow stuff?

  • Mom, Dad – I got some interesting results from my Ancestry DNA test

  • Put the Detroit Lions game on!

  • Anyone know the symptoms of salmonella poisoning?

  • We don’t eat until we’re sure somebody knows the Heimlich

  • Your father and I now have an open marriage

  • Thanks for having Thanksgiving at my place while I’m still under house arrest!

  • Put on one more Ed Sheeran song and I’m reaching for the carving knife

  • Alexa, tell my brother he’s an idiot