Signs You’re Watching a Bad Hallmark Christmas Movie

 

  • There’s a body count

  • Three words: Starring Courtney Love

  • Full frontal nudity? Check!

  • Features at least three actors you’ve actually heard of

  • Seems to owe an awful lot to Quentin Tarantino

  • Romance is not kindled and fate does not step in

  • Soundtrack by Megadeth (Sorry, that would be a sign you’re watching an Awesome Hallmark Christmas Movie)

  • Santa kidnaps Liam Neeson’s daughter?

  • The whole thing takes place in a methadone clinic

  • The extra-terrestrials don’t even look real

  • A great performance by Chuck Norris is wasted