Things That Will Get You Kicked Off a Cruise Ship

A couple from Germany is filing a lawsuit against a cruise company after they were allegedly booted from the ship for having loud sex.  Too bad they weren’t into ball gags. Other frowned-upon shipboard activities:


  • Refusing to stop talking like a pirate

  • E coli jokes in the dining areas

  • Dressing up like Jack or Rose from Titanic

  • Attempting to harpoon passing whales

  • Making a mad dash for the lifeboats and yelling, “We’re all gonna die!”

  • Dangling your junk over the side of the ship to flash passing oil tankers

  • Telling anyone who’ll listen that you’re “Captain Stubing”

  • Screaming “Iceberg!” in the middle of the night

  • Trying to have crew members flogged for insubordination

  • Performing elaborate rituals to appease Poseidon, the God of the Seas

  • 4 words: Plastic-lined “buffet pockets”