Reasons You Don’t Follow Politics

The news is being dominated lately by politics.  But that means nothing to you because you identify with this list of The Top Reasons You Don’t Follow Politics.

  • You were insulted Anthony Weiner never sent you a text of his junk.

  • You try.  But then you get lost in Anderson Cooper’s intoxicatingly blue eyes.

  • You watch NFL refs make terrible calls every week . . . so you’ve had your fill of “whistleblowers.”

  • If you want to watch uppity white people you’ll go see that “Downton Abbey” movie.

  • You just can’t understand why anyone would voluntarily spend months and months in Iowa and New Hampshire.

  • You prefer the comfort of believing the U.S. is a moral hero in a world that’s not swiftly dying.  Also, it’s just super boring.

  • You find politicians so much more interesting when they go on “Dancing with the Stars”.

  • You don’t want political arguments to distract you from all the nice cat photos on your Facebook feed.

  • Every time one election is done, they just have another one in a couple of years.

  • Joe Biden’s veneers give you temporary blindness.

  • Sooner or later anything they do will be on Netflix, right?

  • You only trust the nuanced expertise of your bartender pal who once went to jail for dog fighting.

  • You’re a vampire and you’re mad at Rudy Giuliani for embarrassing the vampire brand.

  • The only voting you care about gave Kelly Clarkson a career.