Reasons to Love Fall

Today is the first day of fall and that makes many of you very happy.  Find out why with this list of The Top Reasons You Love Fall.

  • The leaves turn brown.  Like Justin Trudeau at a party.

  • Baseball is almost over and . . . no, that’s it.  Baseball is almost over.

  • You can finally stop changing your underwear every damn day.

  • You’re only a few months away from hating the next “Star Wars” movie.

  • As a woke liberal, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to get offended by people’s Halloween costumes.

  • Guess who’s getting three new handprint turkeys for the fridge???

  • You no longer look like a lazy hillbilly for keeping up those Christmas lights.

  • Remember how it’s been too hot for you to exercise?  Now you can say it’s too cold.

  • You can just walk outside and smell which of your neighbors are too poor to afford central heating.

  • There’s a new CBS show to watch with grandpa.

  • You can head over to Target and get into the Christmas spirit!

  • The contents of your office coffee mug transitions from vodka to bourbon.

  • Fall means Halloween.  Halloween means candy.  Candy means sugar highs to numb the pain of your sad existence.