Since this is International Housekeepers Week, it’s a good time to check out this list of The Top Things to Consider Before Hiring a Housekeeper.
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Is Florence from “The Jeffersons” available?
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Will they know to only feather dust my collection of skulls?
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Do I have to give them hazard pay when they clean the toilet after I’ve had lunch at Chipotle?
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Does she have some kind of weird hang-up where she doesn’t sleep with her employers?
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Will they see my embarrassing things . . . like my collection of Katherine Heigl DVDs?
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If I hire a female housekeeper, am I required to pay her 30% less than a male housekeeper?
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Will this ruin my chances of appearing on “Hoarders”?
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Will she wear one of those sexy French maid outfits? More importantly, will she let me borrow it?
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Can she balance giving wise advice to our three brunette sons and three blonde daughters with a hot relationship with her butcher boyfriend?