Signs You’re Seeing a Bad Therapist

Since today is National Shrink Day, it’s a good time to check out this list of The Top Signs You’re Seeing a Bad Therapist.

  • You’re halfway through your session before you notice her ear buds.

  • He has two stress balls on his desk labeled “Mom” and “Dad.”

  • He gives you a safe word.

  • He doesn’t have a single trite, clichéd, life-affirming phrase stenciled on his walls.

  • He refuses to help you unless you subscribe to his podcast.

  • She recommends drugs.  Specifically, the kind she brews in her bathtub.

  • He doesn’t like the word “crazy”, he prefers “wack-a-do.”

  • Once you start talking, he starts playing Ozzy Osbourne’s “Crazy Train”.

  • When you say you think you might have multiple personalities, her first question is, “Are any of them more interesting than the one you’re showing now?”

  • He’s a strong believer in Tickle Therapy.

  • You can afford him.