Tips for Having a Great Labor Day Weekend

Labor Day weekend is here!  We want to help make sure it’s awesome by giving you this list of The Top Tips for Having a Great Labor Day Weekend.

  • Don’t tell your party guests you’re serving Impossible Burgers unless you want to hear Uncle Dave rant about how imitation meat is a deep state conspiracy.

  • Engage your Labor Day party guests in conversations about presidential politics and religion . . . those are always great icebreakers!

  • Ignore your colon when it begins to whimper after your ninth hot dog.

  • Watch a parade . . . well, drink beer with a parade in the background.

  • Spend lots of time outside while also avoiding mosquitoes with West Nile Virus, ticks that carry Lyme disease, the flesh-eating viruses in the rivers and lakes . . . and, of course, the mass shooters.  Happy Labor Day!

  • Plan an activity that everyone enjoys.  Like camping, kickball or badmouthing immigrants.

  • Watch college football.  And try not to think about the fact you’re watching teenagers slowly kill themselves for your weekend entertainment.

  • Make the party BYOB.  Bring Your Own Barbiturates.

  • Watch Dave Chappelle’s new stand-up special and take a shot every time you’re offended.

  • Plant flowers on the graves of . . . I don’t know, laborers?  What is this holiday for anyway???

  • Keep reminding yourself that the kids will be back in school on Tuesday.

  • If you live in Florida . . . EVACUATE!!!