Signs You Wasted Your Summer

 

  • Your biggest accomplishment was drafting Andrew Luck for your football fantasy league

  • Three solid months of solo hacky-sack

  • You spent it counting down the days until Pumpkin Spice lattes

  • You dozed off during X-Men: Dark Phoenix, woke up 2 ½ months later

  • You spent 63 days stranded on a broken-down Ferris wheel

  • Your marriage to Nicolas Cage ended after 4 days

  • You blew your last hundred bucks on Woodstock 50 tickets

  • You failed to disable your court-ordered ankle bracelet

  • Never quite finished that New York Times crossword from June 2nd

  • You spent 3 months in a hot dog eating contest-induced coma

  • You manage the Detroit Tigers