Things You Shouldn’t Say in a Job Interview

Your goal in a job interview is to totally blow them away.  But that might be problematic if you utter anything from this list of The Top Things You Shouldn’t Say in a Job Interview.

  • I have a million ideas!  Thanks to cocaine!

  • I noticed that some of your employees are women.  Why?

  • If my kids looked like that, I’d NEVER display their photo.

  • I didn’t bring a resume because that would take time, effort, and commitment . . . and that’s just not in my DNA.

  • I don’t mean to brag, but I can accurately identify the origins of any fart.

  • Here’s a list of the ethnic groups I’m OK working with.

  • Vaping is allowed inside the building, right bro?

  • Do you give maternity leave for cat adoptions?

  • Just in case you plan to drug test me, I already brought a jar of pee.

  • I can type 80 words a minute . . . 80 misspelled words.

  • I’m not a morning person.  Or afternoon.  Or evening.  Or the time in between those three.

  • What is the absolute least amount of work I have to do without getting fired?

  • Where do I see myself in five years?  On your wife.