Reasons to Get Married

Miley Cyrus’ marriage to Liam Hemsworth lasted only eight months.  But don’t let that bad example sour you on tying the knot.  Find out why you should with this list of The Top Reasons to Get Married.

  • If you’re a man, you never have to make your own decisions ever again.

  • Marriage means weddings.  Weddings mean cake.

  • You hate a lot of people in your life.  And what better way to get revenge on them than making them go to a wedding?

  • Strangling in-laws on Thanksgiving helps burn all those calories you had during dinner.

  • You won’t die alone . . . you’ll die with someone telling you all the things that are wrong with you.

  • It almost immediately alleviates that problem of having members of the opposite sex look at you as a romantic or sexual being.

  • In five years, you’ll have a great divorce story.

  • You can finally let that gym membership lapse, and use the extra money to buy more muffins.

  • Guys may discover that their true calling is to be an actor when their wife asks them if her jeans make her look fat.

  • With your combined incomes, you can buy a house.  Okay, apartment.  Okay, storage unit.

  • All your married friends tell you how great it is.  And you’re too dumb to pick up on sarcasm.

  • You get to use the carpool lane on the way to couples counseling.

  • Weddings are a great place to hook up.