Since today is International Cat Day, we thought it’d be a good time to give you this list of The Top Things Your Cat Would Say If It Could Talk.
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If I ever catch that laser dot, it’s DEAD!!
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If you keep posting pictures of me trying to fit into tiny boxes, I’m gonna start posting pictures of you trying to fit into your Spanx.
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Have fun at work. I’ll just be here, plotting your death.
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I want a cut of what you made off that YouTube video of me playing the piano.
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Oh cool, put the goldfish on a table I can reach, that’s a great idea.
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Ironic that I have nine lives and you have absolutely no life.
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Oops, did I just rub my bare butt across your face? Totally an accident, man.
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Would you like a bird skull or mouse tail for your birthday?
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I’m not like other cats. I sleep a lot, I don’t like strangers, and I love yarn. Okay, I’m just like other cats.
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Dogs get Snoopy . . . we get a lazy jerk who loves lasagna.
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Why didn’t you order tuna on your pizza?
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I’m allowed to eat all I want and sleep all day because I’m a cat . . . what’s your excuse, fatso?
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Why would I use the litter box, when I just found this perfectly good slipper?
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Time to dart into that other room for no real reason.