Shark Fun “Facts”

In honor of this being Shark Week, it’s the perfect time to give you this list of The Top Shark Fun Facts.

  • Their cold, dead eyes that see through your soul remind many of Kristen Stewart.

  • They’re known to take it literally when people say “Bite me!”

  • The one song their kids keep requesting over and over again?  “Baby Human”.

  • Wearing a necklace with the tooth of one is a way to let others know you’re unemployable.

  • If you think they’re vicious in the ocean, you should see them on Twitter.

  • A shark that hangs out with an octopus is very likely to be into tentacle porn.

  • They can smell blood from miles away.  Crips?  Not so much.

  • The only thing sharks are afraid of is disappointing their fathers.

  • Sharks off the Jersey Coast pray that Chris Christie takes up boogie boarding.

  • The least popular kind of shark?  Loan.