Signs You Hired a Bad Realtor

When you hire a realtor, you hope you’re getting a competent and knowledgeable professional.  Sadly, that’s not always the case.  Here are The Top Signs You Hired a Bad Realtor.

  • He adds “ambiance” to your open house with candles, soft jazz, and hookers.

  • He confesses that he often has impure thoughts about the Property Brothers.

  • The only property she’s sold is herself at a truck stop.

  • He won’t let people tour an open house before removing their shoes.  And his pants. 

  • After appraising your property, she says, “How do you feel about those tiny houses?”

  • While showing you a house, he points out what he thinks is the best spot in each room to have sex.

  • He describes homes by the number of bedrooms, baths, and poltergeists.

  • Right after showing you the master bathroom, he leaves a floater.

  • You saw his ad on a bus stop bench.  You also saw him sleeping on that bus stop bench.

  • She points out that the backyard has plenty of room for a pool, a swing set . . . and shallow graves.

  • He can’t put up billboards due to outstanding warrants.

  • You thought she said, “I’m going to show you a fixer upper.”  But what she actually said was, “I need my fix of uppers.”